Cast of Characters.

2005-04-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Erin knows many people. Erin thinks you should also have some idea of the people she knows.

Family

Erin: Beautiful. Blonde. Big-breasted. None of those adjectives describe Erin. What she lacks in the pretty department, though, she more than makes up for in her abundant reservoirs of vitriol and bitterness. Our antihero, our main character, our protagonist.

ErinSister, or Sis: The sporty and hard-working sibling of Erin. All the virtues which passed over the firstborn were manifested in the secondborn. But Erin and ErinSister do get along surprisingly well, considering they're only two years apart in age. They do not attend the same schools. For now. She likes soccer, cracking corny jokes, organized things, and planning which courses to take in high school so she can become a veterinarian.

ErinMadre, or Mad: The one who gave birth to Erin. She's a social worker, and works with old and dying nuns. Which is almost a given, actually, because there are few young nuns today. This leads to interesting conversations about how "Sister Pat is young, I mean, she's only 60," and the like. She enjoys not eating regular meals, sleeping all day, being a pessimist, and then nagging other people to stop being pessimistic.

ErinPadre, or Pad: The one who supplied the sperm. A general surgeon, who specializes in glands like thyroids, adrenals, and other things that make the uneducated go "Huh?" He is the epitome of absent-minded professor, as he is both absent-minded and a professor. He is often invited to obscure surgical meetings in far away countries, where he receives free trinkets from the drug companies. Sometimes, the rest of the family gets to go on these trips, too. He likes heavy nonfiction books, math, knots, pretending to hate reality TV, and his own cooking.

Friends & Acquaintances from InsanityHigh

Jewboy: About 25% musical genius, 5% hippie, 10% hobo, 20% spaz, and 60% clinically insane. But above all, 100% sexy. Erin wishes Jewboy would abandon Kitty, his on-and-off girlfriend, for her, where they would then proceed to run away to Costa Rica, make lots of kinky love, and have many sexy Jewish/Asian babies.

Kitty: You know how kittens seem cute at first, but when you get close, they go crazy on you and scratch and bite? Same with this Kitty. She hates sunscreen, other people, and most likely, you. The only thing she likes is Jewboy, her sort-of boyfriend.

Friends from Elsewhere

Fabulous: One of Erin's two best friends from middle school. Attends JewHigh. Is fabulous, and has great sense of fashion. The girliest out of the three. She likes pink, dancing, and shopping.

Hilarious: One of Erin's two best friends from middle school. Attends CatholicHigh but is transferring to StonerHigh. Is hilarious and random, and Erin's personal hero. Erin strives to be more like her every day. She likes Coke, Jesus, and quiches.

Me.

2005-04-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hello, blogging world. I am Erin. Let me tell y'all about myself. First, the facts.

I am a girl. I am a freshman in highschool. I like hot men. I like knitting. I like fruity drinks. I like Jewish people. I like television. I like talking to strangers. I like colorful Converses. I like sleep. I hate misused apostrophes. I hate waking up in the morning. I hate my inability to even pretend I can function well in society. I hate political correctness. I hate my klutziness. I hate it when people call reality TV shows "reality" TV shows. (Seriously, is anyone surprised by the fact that shows are edited nowadays? Maybe in, oh, I don't know, the 50s, this would have been shocking. Really, if you don't know by now that reality TV isn't completely like real life, well, I think there's nothing else I can do for you.) And what else?

I started this to try and chronicle my life, so when I'm old and wrinkly I can look back and say, "Wow, I was really messed up. I'm glad I'm through with that. Thank god I'm getting demented, so I don't have to remember that." Just kidding. Not really.

The Lithium Diaries

Cast of Characters.

Me.